Once again I'm sitting in a night train
Looking out into the night
I feel the darkness moving closer
A million fingers pointing out at me
I'm a lonely, a lonely wolf
Lonely and a hungry wolf
A lonely, yeah, a lone wolf
Lonely, yeah, and a hungry wolf
Passing by my old hometown
I had to turn my head away
Don't wanna think about my future
'Cause I can't even face my past
Lonely, lonely wolf
Such a lonely and a hungry wolf
A lonely, yeah, a lonely wolf
So lonely, yeah, and a hungry wolf
Howling out for love
I'm asking for some love
Nobody knows where I'm going
Nobody knows where I've been
Nobody hears my howling
My crying out into the night
Well the train knows where I'm going
Oh, the train knows where I've been
The train takes me through the ages
Oh train, take me back home now!
First released in 1988 by Havana Blacks (plural),
this rock anthem is for me one of the greatest ever written.
The Finnish ensemble who went by Havana Blacks
soon removed the s from their title,
but didn't emerge from obscurity, unfortunately,
which makes me wonder how I found them in the first place.
FM radio? That seems far-fetched.
A friend? Perhaps. That seems more likely.
You can't find this song on Tidal or on Spotify.
In fact, it can be found as far as I can tell only on YouTube,
which is why it doesn't appear on the Tidal playlist.
It stands for me as a testament to my own life,
which indeed has been one of a lone wolf.
I don't say that with pride of any kind.
It has been a very hard road.
I have insisted to live my finite life my way at every turn.
I can honestly say I haven't been greedy or insensitive in this pursuit:
I have lived responsibly to all who have come across my path.
That's the truth.
Ultimately, however, almost all have demanded I live my life their way.
When I refused, they ditched me.
And once again, as the song starts out,
I find myself sitting in a night train,
looking out into the night.
So be it.
Digital Art: Past Time by yours truly